Saturday, June 7, 2014

The Realization

Back on October 5th of last year we blogged about MD 20/20 Electric Melon, then followed that one up on October 25th with another on MD 20/20 Blue Raspberry.  Then we decided to leave the subject alone since the posts weren't really about wine but the beverage predilections of the American litterbug.  If you feel like scrolling back, I thought those posts were great...but you have to understand my very dry satirical sense of humor. 

So recently I was out bicycling with Jack the dog, picking up bottles and cans by the sides of the roads and I came to a major new realization, but wait a minute, you probably can't envision the bicycling thing.   Jack rides in his milk crate on the handle bars.  I hang plastic grocery store T-shirt bags from the milk crate and fill them with aluminum cans and plastic bottles we pick up from the roadsides.  Glass bottles go into the box with Jack, who is none-too-happy about the arrangement, and we keep Clermont and the surrounding areas picked up that way...and we entertain the locals who observe us in the act!

So what's my new realization?  Let me first set the stage by profiling the local litterbugs.  They love Bud Light beer and Coke!  They r-e-a-l-l-y love their Bud Light and Coke.  They like a lot of other stuff but you can generally assume they are amenable to advertising, which is pretty amoral on things environmental, and that just leads into a lifestyle of throwing it out the window.

So here's my realization: Up to this point, the only empty wine bottles I find by the road have been of the wino-wine varieties, with just a few exceptions, mainly Gallo brands. epiphany!  This is an untapped market!  What we have here is an obvious opportunity to upgrade the tastes of our friends in the litterbug community and create a new fine wine industry revenue stream in the process!

So how on earth do we do that?

First we need to reach out to any litterbugs we may know.  Care should be taken though, if you think the individual may not exactly be open to the proposition.  I always worried about kids who were told in school that littering was a no-no.  I imagined them going home and getting their ears boxed in by inebriated dad when they told him to stop littering.  Those kind probably don't need to be in the fine wine fraternity anyway.

Secondly, we need to reach out to strangers, like in store parking lots, if they look like they could be a potential litterbug, you know, a little rough looking.  Wait a minute.  Cancel that approach in light of the previous paragraph.

Now here's the way to go: Anheuser Busch and Coca Cola are mega marketers who make a ton of money off the sales of their stuff that ends up as such an unsightly mess by our roadsides.  My first thought was to tax them to help pay for the cleanup of their containers.  Then, the realization: Why not utilize their assets to upgrade the tastes of our littering friends, i.e., have them advertise decent wines on their six or twelve packs or whatever.  It could read, "Hey buddy, try a bottle of Napa Cab with that (Bud or Coke)."  The marketing talent these guys have is truly amazing.  They can sell ice to eskimos, as they say.  You just need a slogan, jingle, and a pretty girl and...Voila!  And don't forget the receptivity of this targeted consumer!  I think this thing will work!  Heck, Gallo will probably want to play too considering the benefits they might reap!

To my knowledge the littering numbers have remained pretty constant through the years and I don't expect them to diminish any time soon so we might as well make the best of it.  Maybe we could even sell some Govino acrylic wine cups for the connoisseur on the go!  I guess they too would end up on the roadside though.

Here's the tasting schedule for the next three weeks: Friday, June 13th, domestic reds and whites from California and Washington; June 20th, Tommy Basham of Continental Beverage with new high end red blends from Italy and Coto de Hayas reds and whites from Spain; and June 27th, Taylor Moore of Eagle Rock with Small Vineyard Italians and new California reds.  All events start at 5pm and end at 8pm.  It's a "flow" thing so come when you want!

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